Sunday, September 28, 2008
Haven't posted in like, forever. too busy studying for the END YEAR EXAMS! It starts
tmw!
chinese composition and math- math without the almighty calculator. oh no.
My brains were fried yesterday. had compo class then theory. i am trying, along with two little boys, Ethan and Joel, to crash course theory grade 1-6. in two months max. oh no.
Little kids have so much pressure these days. Joel, who is P1 , is obviously slower than Ethan and i, is really lagging behind, and slowing us down so...
teacher: Joel, would you like to come for extra lessons? maybe before this lesson? or in the
morning?
Joel: i think i am getting confused.Which one is a minim?
teacher: Joel! See, you really need extra lessons- what about in the morning, i am free.
Joel: How do you spell "crotchet"
teacher: Joel, i am talking to you!
Joel: morning cannot, i got golf from 8-11
Teacher:
aiyo, so hot. what about after golf?
Joel: i got tuition
Teacher: after tuition?
Joel: i go out for lunch
Teacher: after that?
Joel: i want to bathe! and i have cello then this theory class.
Teacher:
aiyooo. you are so busy, Young man.
Joel: don't call me that, i am not a man.
Teacher: then you are a woman ah?
Joel: i am a man! i am a man! no no no no, i am a
acs boy.
he is a busy bee.
on
monday, after school, he has swimming.
tues- art class. wed-
English tuition.
thurs- nothing.
fri- fencing. oh my god. he is busier than me & all of my siblings put together.
and he has golf for 3 hours! can you imagine how far
his tiny, short legs
have to carry him on the golf course!?
you're funny.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Gordon Ramsay writes dangerous books. The F-word is used so profoundly in the book, that after you read even one chapter, you get the Gordon Ramsay Disease[ GordonRamsaynucleasis]
Everything is F-ing this and F-ing that, God, he even describes
Hollandaise Sauce , for god-sakes, as split-F-ing Hollandaise Sauce- wth?
Everyone is falling ill, first it was Esse with HFMD, then Miss-over reacting -Chanosaurus thought she had fallen ill, then Jo, then Deeeeevya. I
thought YT was sick but she apparantly has a permanant runny nose. And people in class are like all" OMG! we are all going to die!!!"
Dear God. Save me from all the 1E Drama-mama's.
you're funny.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Good Lord. My mother hates me because i implied she was old.
wth! she
is old! what, does she thing she's still a spring chicken? Mummy, You're
41 already! it was seriously not my fault- i didn't do it on purpose.When i went to cut my hair, there were these bunch of old
british ladies in the salon that my mom and i went to. they were like
kind of perming their hair, but they did not steam their heads in the big round
thingie, so i asked my mom what they were doing and then she said they were setting their hair. It's kinda like a semi-permanent perm, like, it lasts until you wash your hair, so, apparently,
alot of these ladies do it on a
friday night, so it lasts them through all their weekend parties.
So, my mom had a wedding dinner to go to tonight, and she said she wanted to go to the salon, so i asked why, and then she said because she had a wedding to attend that night. so i was like, "so you are setting your hair?" she said yes. and then i was stupid enough to say " like the old people we saw that time?"
oh shit. i didn't realise what i said until my dad started chocking on his apple. i was like
"what's wrong with you papa? you spastic or what? why the hell are you choking like that?"
then, my bro started choking, then the other bro, then my sister. i was totally confused." what the hell is wrong with ALL of you! why do you choke one after another?!"
and then my dad said "
YOU are the spastic!" and then spat out the poor apple.
shit. then i realised my mistake. Christ. i was in deep shit. so i ran upstairs to my room. it's the most sensible thing to do when my mother, armed with a colourful, deadly array of anaesthetic needles of varying degrees of deadliness, is on a mad rampage. i don't think her needles are
able to poke through a wooden door.
you're funny.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
My crazy brother, who is going to sit for
PSLE in one week plus, picked a fight with his
chinese teacher in school today.
BRILLIANT.GENIUS.EINSTEIN. He is more concerned about post-PSLE sleepovers, football, SAMUEL and of course, fighting with menopausal teachers than the actual bloody exam itself. This damn exam will almost certainly define the rest of his life and he is totally carefree, happy relaxed.Sorry dude, but if you end up in
ang mo
kio sec, or something along the lines of that, i just simply
can't see you going to Harvard.You may dream of a footballing career, where you earn ridiculous amounts of money-$150,000 !
POUNDS! a week even if you are injured and sitting on your lazy ass at home doing nothing, but dear
Ronaldo Lok, or Rooney
Lok, whichever you may prefer, trust me man, wake up from dreamland-you ain't gonna make it dude, the
Malays will whip your ass on the pitch. you're screwed. face it,
Chinese cannot play football. If there are bloody
Brazilians coming to play football in
Singapore, the only place in this planet where you are going to be a first-team player is maybe Siberia. Or wait, maybe if it doesn't work out over there,
i'm pretty sure Zimbabwe has a place for you.
you're funny.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
I
LOVE my new seating arrangement! Reasons:
1) I get to torture Soifon Taichou
2) Mira is a MADWOMAN!
3) DNA Danny B, Glowy and PJ, and Mira's other mealworm children "look just like their father"
AHEM mira
4) Ying Jia teaches Mira one million and one "scientific facts"
5) I have a Total Celeb sitting in isolation behind me. PRESENTING: Rachel Madonna Mariah Phua Chu Kang Jr. ...........Lim Yi Ting!
6)i get to do one new activity every day of the week.
This Week's Timetable:
MONDAY
Me, Mira and Jo made songs for YT.
TUESDAY
Me, Mira and Ying Jia decorated Dhivya's lovely Diary for her.
WEDNESDAY
Me, Mira and Ying Jia made blog URL's for Mira; Mira's suggestions
http://www.had-sex-with-a-hairy-mealworm.blogspot.com/http://www.unfaithul-banana-lover.blogspot.com/http://www.i-made-pglo-babies.blogspot.com/Seriously man, WHAT IS WRONG WITH MIRA'S BRAIN?!
you're funny.
Finally, my
GRANOLA BAR RECIPE shall be revealed! haha, it is quite an easy recipe, but this is the tastier-but-more-unhealthy version. It is also nicer with chopped almonds or walnuts than pure chocolate chips. so, instead of having 2 full cups of chocolate chips, mix the desired amount of almonds/walnuts with the choclate chips to form 2 full cups.
INGREDIENTS!
4 1/2 cups rolled oats
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2/3 cup butter, softened
1/2 cup honey
1/3 cup packed brown sugar
2 cups miniature semisweet chocolate chips
METHOD!
Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C). Lightly grease one 9x13 inch pan.
In a large mixing bowl combine all the ingredients. Stir in the 2 cups assorted chocolate chips, raisins, nuts etc.
Lightly press mixture into the prepared pan.
Bake at 325 degrees F (165 degrees C) for 18 to 22 minutes or until golden brown. Let cool then cut into bars.
Let bars cool completely in pan before removing or serving.
HAPPY BAKING!
you're funny.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Dhivya and I discoverd a new species of Dinosaurs on Wikipedia.
The characteristics:
-small, eyes
-steals food
-stares at food
-Has red horns
Here's the the elusive, almost endangered species:
the elusive Gillian Chanosaurus
Scientific name "Gilliani Backacne Chanicsaurucki"
Discovered by:
Professor Andrea Lok
P.H.D. Archaeology&Professional Historian
Dr. Tea Dhivya
P.H.D. Purple Freak
The Gillian Chanosaurus lives in the jungle of Depot Road,
often emerging from its habitat only to travel to Blackmore Drive.
Like other tyrannosaurids, it often travels in packs of 5 or 6.
Its diet mainly consists of Nasi Lemak and Mee Tye Bak[ fat white worms]
it is the smallest known tyrannosaurid and grows up to 1.5-1.6 metres in length.
SCIENTIFIC CLASSIFICATION
Please don't kill me gillian or should i say " Gillian Chanosaurus"
you're funny.
Me, Mira, Jo, Amy Winehouse, PCD, Avril Lavingne, JT, Miley Cyrus and Danity Kane made songs for our dear moley affiliate during LA and History.
Here's the first one:
Ode To Deodorant
They try to make me spray Deodorant
But I say” NO NO NO”
Dove, Nivea and Rexona
But I say “NO NO NO!”
On the MRT, I spot YT
I told her to take a shower,
But she said “NO NO NO!”
“I try to cook my own makan”
But they say “NO NO NO”
“You just throw everything in the damn steamboat”
Including the deo-do-rant
On the MRT, I spot YT
She said” I’m so sexy”
But I don’t agree-gree-gree
COPYRIGHT 2008
Andrea Lok& Amy Winehouse
Dear YT, you'd better appreciate this song- it took all my english brains and all of amy winehouse's herion-filled rhythm brains to compose this.
you're funny.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
icks.
HAHA, i have totally&
completely finished revising Acids&
Alkalis!!! Had one bowl of peach&mango Lactic acid to celebrate, then washed up with Potassium Hydroxide.
Oh Christ.
TO: Rachel Madonna
Mariah..........
Lim Yi Ting
LYRICS FOR THE "SORRY MIRA" SONG
*[to the tune of heartbreaker]
I'm S-S-S-SORRY
I'm S-S-S-SORRY
I didn't mean to break your specs[x2]
I'm S-S-S-SORRY
I'm S-S-S-SORRY
I didn't mean to break it
B-B-B-BREAK IT MIRA
I'm a Specs-breaker[x3]
I'm a Specs
SP-SP-SP-SPECS
SP-SP-SP-SPECS BREAKER
Please note, dear Whye Tee, No Singaporean Accent, Try to sing like a black man- the song will come off better that way.
you're funny.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
My neighbour is seriously psychotic! she is trying to break into my house again, by climbing over the wall. i think she is mad, her tiny ,5 year old brain is seriously intrigued by what lies behind the white cement wall that separates our houses.Somehow, she manages to pop her tiny, blonde head over the wall by balancing on one foot on the bloody air-con vents! Then she will tell us about her entire day, and half the time, i don't catch a word she's saying because of her thick Aussie accent.She scares the shit out of me, its like a tiny, blonde, half-naked catwoman next door.jeepers.
you're funny.
Finally...A Blog...
i finally have a blog! Thanks to dhivya who stayed back with me, the sch computer lab and the fricking codes for the bloody blogskin. The computer lab was SO cold! i couldn't even type properly! i am attempting my Acids& Alkali WS. why must we even learn about calcium sulphate and dilute hydrochloric acid? it's not as if it will be useful to us when we grow old- we are going to say to our kids" here kid, eat yogurt" not " here kid, have some lactic acid, oh, but not too much, or else your intestines will be corroded and melted into a heap"
you're funny.
